Heaven help us, it’s baaaccckk! “It” is SPAM, and they’ve released their first TV ad in goodness knows how long. It will be somewhat intriguing to see how long it lasts.
Those of you who are 30 or under may not have eaten SPAM in your lifetime, thanks in part to your parents being health conscious enough to not allow it. Those of us who are a decade or two older—and even older than that—have no doubt suffered through menu items including grilled SPAM and cheese sandwiches and SPAM casserole, and although we’ve lived to tell about it, would prefer no one else have to senselessly suffer the repercussions.
For those who haven’t eaten the salty, fatty concoction, SPAM is canned meat. If that in itself doesn’t have you running for the hills and a gallon of cold water, the list of ingredients surely will do just that.
SPAM is comprised of two cuts of pork—pork shoulder and ham. It also includes salt, water, potato starch and sodium nitrate. It’s basically fat and salt in a can. It’s one of those foods that no one should consume.
It makes some wonder why, during a seriously health-conscious decade in the United States, the TV advertising for this product has resurfaced. Of course it could be in spite of the health-conscious decade that sales of SPAM are down.
Those who haven’t consumed SPAM at some point in their lives, be warned. Even though the ad makes the product look like tiny cubes of ham, nothing could be further from the truth. These aren’t the benign little squares of leftover ham you toss in your omelet on Saturday mornings. They’re softer, fattier and saltier than even the saltiest cut of ham.
Please don’t come back at me saying SPAM might be all low-income families can afford. A 12-ounce can is nearly $3 in many regions. Chicken thighs and drumsticks cost way less than that. Peanut butter sandwiches provide far more nutrition, and also are far less expensive than SPAM.
There are no nutrients or vitamins in SPAM. It also has—in one single serving—about 53% of the recommended amount of daily sodium intake an adult should consume. How is it this is even still on the market?
It should be a small consolation that this new SPAM ad only runs for about 15 seconds. Maybe the company bought miniscule airtime fearing it might flop?
Even if you’re the tiniest bit tempted, step away from the SPAM. Don’t think it might be a quick way to prepare Tuesday night’s dinner. Fast food burgers are less lethal than this nasty concoction. So is frozen pizza. In fact, feed your kids cookies and milk for dinner if that keeps you from buying this product. Your arteries and those of your family members will thank you one day.