Death—the Ultimate Side Effect

Pharmaceutical companies are making people insane.

   by Kimberly Ripley  2017

Pharmaceutical companies are making people insane.

Not only are they charging exorbitant amounts of money for prescription drugs, they’ve also taken in recent years to advertising said drugs in magazines and on TV.

The most recent to truly irk people—or perhaps it’s just me--is for Type II Diabetes and some blood disorders. It’s called Troujeo, and while you listen to the ridiculously long list of “possible side effects—including, of course DEATH” (isn’t that sort of the ultimate side effect?) a sort of silly looking man is bee-bopping through life with a goofy look on his face.

Now, lest you fear I’m crapping all over the poor actor in said commercial—whose real name incidentally is KarlosKlaumannsmoller—it’s plain to see he’s merely an actor doing his job. So instead I’ll diss the agency that made the ad instead.

No one—and I mean no one—bobs their head and dances their way through a hot summer afternoon while mowing their lawn. If you can find me such a person, please send them to me and I will pay them for both mowing and entertaining me and our neighbors.

No one—and once again I mean no one—maintains that same beat while walking on a treadmill at the gym. Find me that someone—if you truly believe he exists—and I’ll bee-bop in the very same way to the very same song (Let’s Groove by Earth, Wind & Fire) for an entire week at the gym.

Yes, it’s wonderful that there are medications to help those suffering from a long list of diseases and disorders. But it used to be a doctor suggested certain medications—we didn’t suggest them to our doctors. Now these ads—in addition to reminding us they might cause our imminent demise (Let’s groove tonight! Bee bop, bee bop) also remind us to “ask our doctor” about Troujeo or Tresiba, Humira or Viberzi. Viberzi has a walking colon spasm or maybe she’s an intestine—who knows--that drags its human off to have diarrhea, for goodness sake! The colon spasm’s real name is Ilana Becker and her character’s name, even though it’s not mentioned in the ads, is Irritabelle. Viberzi is for irritable bowl syndrome. Sad, isn’t it?

Human beings aren’t dumb, but we sure are being treated that way by these ads from pharmaceutical companies. Very few countries do this—did you know that? And guess what? People are living healthier lives in some of those countries.

I feel bad for these actors who are making names for themselves looking foolish in these ads. Sure, they might be making some decent money for their efforts, but will they ever be recognized as anything but the goofy Troujeo guy or the diarrhea-triggering colon?

In the meantime, Americans flock to their doctors, requesting these prescriptions by name. Wake up, people. We’re being played. And unfortunately some doctors are buying into it, too. Repeat after me: Death is not a side effect. It’s the absolute end-all of the whole shebang!

Of course it’s likely this kind of advertising will never end, but that leaves me optimistic in one way at the very least. It provides plenty of fodder for me to dish about on a regular basis!

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